Thank you, Ralph. Very graphic.

“You looken sharpen todayen, mein herr.”

So I can look Uncle Fritz square in the monocle and say “NEIN!”

“You know what I want to be when I grow up?”

“The girl on the oatmeal box?”

Globe wax.

“Hurry, Moe, hurry! I’ve only got five minutes until the music store closes.”

“Well, why don’t you go there first?”

“Hey, do I tell you how to do your job?”

“Sorry, Homer.”

“You know, if you tip the glass there won’t be so much foam on top.” 

“Sorry, Homer.”

“Some of you may discover a wonderful vocation you’d never even imagined. Others may find out life isn’t fair, in spite of your Masters from Bryn Mawr, you might end up a glorified babysitter to a bunch of dead-eyed fourth graders while your husband runs naked on a beach with your marriage counselor!”

smugduggah:

Pepito, the Biggest Cat In the Whole Wide World.

smugduggah:

Suck-up the Vacuum.

Can’t win, don’t try.

Well, duh.

the-simpsons-blog:

Son, this is against every regulation, but… would you cover us

I won’t.